to all the juggalos, ICP is the shit.

Either no one reads my posts or no one comments :(

I had a microwave several years ago, his name was Ted. Ted was allergic to popcorn. I was not. Ted died. Last night I had a dream about him trying to cook the popcorn and dying in the process. The police soon found out and I was on the list of serial killers for minorities. When I woke I found popcorn on the table. It was delicious.

My speakers were too loud so I told it to be quiet and I punched it. It turned down immediately. It respects my authority as its older half brother.

Since your so observant of news-posts, I'm sure you'll see this.

NOTE:This will be placed after bang, because if I were an christian, I would believe in this.

It all started when the Earth turned into a teen. The Sun was running out of time as he knew that soon his massive fires would burn his penis off. So the Sun looked for a mate. He had 1 option, Earth, as his ex-girlfriend (Uranus) was not able to have a child as she was just 1 huge ass, which was worn out by now.
The sun noticed that the earth was just a giant vagina. This made him extra horny and he decided to have sex with the earth. Back then no condoms were available for the sun because it would burn the rubber right onto his private parts, and that would not feel good for him. So the only option was to have a child, or miss. Now since he didn't want his sperm children flying through the Cosmos, he had to put it all on her. His semen was a special semen. It was pure lava. And since it was lava it went everywhere. It eventually sinked inside of her.

You see, as the Sun never had a child before, he didn't know about what could happen to a child if they were related. And as it turned out, the Earth was his cousin. So their child was bound to have some physical effects not known yet. Not only this, but since the lava surrounding the sperm feared competition for land, it surrounded the fetus and pushed it out, like a wave pushing a child out of a cave. The process of a child wasn't half complete.

This baby flew out of what was once called his home. He was considered a mutant, not even half developed and changed genes because his parents were cousins. This new organism had a form of what is today humans. And his name was God.

Thousands of years later the Sun's sperm was located everywhere on Earth, and formed continents.
God decided to honor his lava buried mother with new life. He created the oceans, plants, and humans in his name.

=============================Extra Ending=============================
-The future of Earth (Alternate ending #1)-
The Sun's semen went nowhere except for the inside of Earth, ironically.
Earth today as we know it was made as God was masturbating to Uranus through his new Galaxy's window. Unfortunately for God, his mom made a surprise visit to his Galaxy and as he finished his mom opened the door and he missed and got it on his mom, and he inherited his fathers trait for lava semen. She rushed to her original position in the Universe before God noticed that he got his mom. On the way to her old Galaxy, the lava cooled and made ground. This soon killed her with the lack of a mouth to breath from as the lava covered it.

Will post a new alternate ending as soon as I remember it. comments?

Please don't hurt me, I can't take anymore beatings. No, please! Not the Rick Ashley music video!

Yay! I'm spared! But you never know when it'll strike. Because random is, indeed, ftw.

May the Triforce be with you.

Do it.

Anyone want to challenge me on archanists from funorb.com?

I'm dbzken. PM me the time, world, and any other details.. I'm a non-member so I won't be doing rated games.
I'll be doing team matches, 1 vs. 1 matches, or 3people+ matches.

This is me.

Anyone want to challenge me on archanists from funorb.com?

I'm dbzken. PM me the time, world, and any other details.. I'm a non-member so I won't be doing rated games.
I'll be doing team matches, 1 vs. 1 matches, or 3people+ matches.

This is me.